Pablo Goes To Hollyoaks
The other week, I ventured to the former European Capital of Culture, now just plain old Liverpool, to check out the ‘Picasso: Peace and Freedom’ exhibition at the Tate. For all it did for my temper, I wish I hadn’t bothered. However, there were lessons to be learned (as always) and I did see some other good stuff there.
First off – a word about Liverpool that sums up the physical nature of the city for me in a nutshell. Stand on the waterfront facing inland, just down from the Moptop Museum (or whatever it’s called) and look to your right. The Three Graces: stunning, beautiful, ornate, regal, inspiring… describe them as you will. Now look to your left. Derelict wasteland, multi-storey car park (and a bad example of the genre), hideous cuboid tower… it has a touch of the post-apocalyptic about it. All that’s best and worst in Liverpool’s architecture in one 180 degree turn. Will this city be finished anytime soon? Bad choice of word – I meant ‘completed’ of course…
But what of Picasso? Well, he had a few off-days I reckon and the results are on show in the Tate. When you first enter the exhibition, there’s a small display describing the history of Picasso in occupied France and beyond and his political motivations. So far, so interesting. Then you go up in the lift to see the work of the man himself. It’s all downhill from there and not merely because it’s on the top floor.
What you get are a few scribbles, some parodies of classic paintings and the work that isn’t good enough to warrant permanent wall space somewhere else. I mean, come on, this is the emperor’s new clothes, surely? I get so angry looking at stuff like this and watching everybody else examining every detail in hushed awe. Here’s a test: forget it’s Picasso. Forget it’s the work of one of the most famous artists of the twentieth century. You see the piece, on its own – no history, no back story, no idea who drew it. Is it really any good? No it fucking isn’t, it’s a few lines on a piece of paper or brush strokes on canvas that make no fucking sense whatsoever and do absolutely nothing for you. “But you have to understand what the artist was trying to convey!”. No I fucking don’t – it’s his job to ensure that enough meaning is apparent in the work. Great authors and composers manage it. How come visual artists get away with passing off any old crap as having depth?
Now, I’m not disputing that Picasso was a genius, nor am I suggesting that a piece of art must be a perfect representation of the physical world in order to have merit. I lean towards impressionism, but I’m a cartoonist for heaven’s sake – hardly the most representationally accurate of disciplines. Probably his most famous work, Guernica, conveys huge emotion without being in any way realistic – look at the agony in the contorted faces and poses of the figures and you can almost feel the horror. I also understand that sometimes you have to look a little deeper to fully appreciate a work, know something of the artist, perhaps how they broke new ground and influenced what followed. On the other hand, Mondrian can fuck right off and so can Damien Hirst – I’ve seen their work, kept an open mind, tried not to dismiss it outright and rationally concluded it’s total bollocks. On yet another hand, the ‘International Klein Blue’ canvas, completely devoid of any image whatsoever (also on view in Tate Liverpool) had me hooked and staring at it for ages from all kinds of distances and angles. It’s the blue of ‘space’ apparently and it’s very blue indeed. I loved it.
I think what annoys me most is this: That I’m somehow a Philistine for not appreciating modern or abstract art. That in order to be a fully-rounded, educated, cultured person I must see its value. Dismissing it makes me somehow plebeian and obvious. Well what if I am? Show me a sketch by Leonardo da Vinci, or a painting by Canaletto, or a comic page by Uderzo in preference to this nonsense, any day.
If you do go to the Tate, be sure to see the exhibition curated by Wayne Hemingway and Son while you’re there. You put on headphones, choose the music mix you want to listen to and enter a sculpture gallery illuminated by disco lights and mirror balls. Now that’s modern art. Oh, and check out the kids talking about Picasso – I missed it and it’s the best bit apparently.
Find details of the aforementioned exhibitions here: http://www.tate.org.uk/liverpool/ and stare at International Klein Blue here: http://www.international-klein-blue.com/
Coming soon: Modern Jazz: You Can Fuck Off An’ All.
